Oh Harry..You Do Make Me Laugh

A light hearted, short, but true story...

 

I’d like to introduce to the world my nephew.. Master Harrison Oliver Jones.. queue cute picture... He’s now 3 yrs 9 month old...but was only 2 and a half at the time of this story.

As I don’t currently have any children of my own, those that know me well would agree that I take great pleasure in being the family idiot and entertaining other people’s children.  But on this day, it was something serious, something I am passionate about, something that I wanted to share with Harry.  I wanted to get him interested in golf....stay with me on this... it’s not about the golf that I want to talk about.

Now, you might slate me for it, but I’d rather him be exposed to as many different things in life as possible in order to realise his full potential.  If he never plays golf, how would we know he isn’t the next Rory McIlroy?  It’s not about being a
pushy parent, it’s simply a case of saying “let’s try it and see if he likes it”...
 

I’m in the sleepy village of Linton-On-Ouse, just outside of the very picturesque York, on a stunning spring morning...where my brother and his partner lived (they are both in the RAF).  The air was still, and crisp as I wake early one morning... the wonderful sound of the countryside all around me... birds singing, cows mooing, chickens clucking... and the morning mist hovering over the fields as the sunshine burns away the light dew.

I turn to his mummy and say “Today.. I’d like to take Harry out on the golf course!”...now to most 2.5 year olds.. the thought of walking what can sometimes be a fair few miles when you spray the ball around as much as I do on occasions can be daunting.... but for young Harry, this is quite simply, another opportunity to run as fast as he can, for as long as he can until his little legs will carry him no more.

So I get myself ready, making myself at least look like a professional golfer.. smart trousers, nice clean shoes, crisp t-shirt (thanks to my ironing lady...Linda you are an angel)...so I’m fully kitted out in black Nike apparel.... I turn to Harry and get him dressed.. hat, scarf, coat, gloves and his little walking boots...all wrapped up is this bundle of smiles...

I strap him in his car seat and we head to the golf club full of excitement, me wondering if he will like it or want to leave after a couple of holes... him thinking.. “Wooohooo.. I’m going on an adventure!” oh how I wish we could all be that free.

We stand on the first tee, me praying my golf game doesn’t desert me.... Harry being his usual self, getting frustrated that he has to stand still when there’s all that open space to run around in.... I hit the ball.... return the club to the bag and utter those magic words...”ok Harry...let’s go”... this was like music to his little ears...like opening the gate on a rodeo bull... he was off like a shot... like a 100 meter sprinter.. he was half way down the 1^st fairway before I had barely left the tee box.

We approach the first green and I shout to him... “I need you to hold the flag for me please”... and bless his little cotton socks... he walks over to the hole.. pulls out the flag and stands to the side..  1 putt and I make par... a great way to start... Harry must be my lucky mascot.

We play a few holes and he doesn’t stop... his nose is running in the cold air, the tiny puffs of warm air leaving his mouth clearly visible as he’s literally tearing up the fairways... but now it’s his turn, it’s the moment I had been waiting for... would he or wouldn’t he like golf.... as he utters the words ‘Harry have a go...pwwwweeeease’... he has the cutest voice and tiny lisp as kids do at that age and there’s certain words he can’t ... or more likely, chooses to pronounce incorrectly as you will discover later..he’s not very good at his ‘L’s and when you have a name like Lee, that’s important! But here I was, completely made up that after just 4 holes, Harry had shown interest off his own back, no persuasion from me...I wanted it to come from him.

Now, considering he is using my adult clubs, to say he had to choke down on the shaft a little is an understatement.... but get this... he holds the club and actually makes a swing at the ball, without any coaching what so ever, he missed it completely mind... but he had watched me, absorbed what he needed to do and put it into practice...he swings again, he hits it....5 feet...but he hits it....runs and hits it again..another 5 feet... you can see his mind working overtime, working out what he’s got to do to hit it further.. and now he wants his own ball to play with as we walk down the fairway... he’s hooked!

As we stroll down the 6^th fairway he watches me cream a 3 wood towards the green and claps wildly as he screams ‘Wooooooooooooow’.......if only I had him every time I played to show support like that.. I replace my club in the bag and turn to Harry who now has empty hands....... “Harry..... where’s your ball gone?” ..... “iiiiiiith in da hooole uncle weee”........”Harry, we are in the middle of the fairway......which hole I smile?”....as he turns to me with that cheeky grin and a laugh “thiiiith hole” ...as he points to my bag and the hole in which you place your clubs in!!!!  He looked so proud of himself as we walk down the fairway with the ball now rattling around at the bottom of my golf bag and me laughing uncontrollably....

We reach the 8^th hole and he hasn’t stopped running but now his legs are starting to look tired... well.... we have walked, or should I say he has now run nearly 2 miles by this point... for a kid of 2.5 that’s pretty amazing... but it’s now time to surrender... “I tired uncle wee”.... so I threw him up on to my shoulders.. bag on my back... quite a workout I can tell you...

We bump into 4 suitably dressed older gentlemen who are enjoying their morning 4-ball with a nip of whisky from their hip flask and one of them offers... “you drew the short straw with the babysitting today did you lad?”.... I smile as I reply.... “look around you at where we are...I wouldn’t call this a short straw...would you?”..... “You’re absolutely right young sir” he gestures.. “fair play to you”...

20 Minutes later and I make birdie on the 10^th hole... the course by the way, Aldwalk Manor, so for those that know it, will know that at this point, we are at the most furthest point away from the clubhouse as possible, when young Harry turns to me and say’s “I’m hungry...”.  I take one look at him, his cheeks all red and out of breath, and think to myself, he’s had enough... he’s run all this way, he’s been good as gold, he’s held every flag on every green and even tried the game for himself...but he needs to recharge his batteries ready for his next carefree adventure.

I once again throw my bag on my back and Harry on my shoulders...preparing for the mile and half march back to the clubhouse...all made worthwhile by the smile he has put on my face as I recall once again... “iiiiiith in da hole uncle weee”! Oh Harry, you do make me laugh!